Plans Change

Today is my mom’s birthday!


Isn’t she beautiful!?! She is such a strong, loving, caring person. She has been there for me through all of life’s ups and downs! I couldn’t of asked for a better woman to call my mom!

For most of my life she was a stay-at-home mom. She believed that raising her children was the best, most important job a woman could have. So, that was how I was raised.

I was raised KNOWING that I was destined to be a mom.

I was raised KNOWING that being a stay-at-home mom was a great job.

I was raised KNOWING that a family can be supported, and even thrive, on the income of just one parent.

So these were my goals. These were my dreams. These were my hopes. These were the beliefs that I planned my future around.

Then…we weren’t able to get pregnant on our own.

Then…my husband lost his job.

Then…we had to sell our first home for about a third of what we paid for it.

Then…we moved 300 miles and started fresh.

When I was in college I decided that I wanted to be a teacher. And, that’s what I became. For 6 years after I graduated, I was a teacher. To be more precise, I was a middle school teacher. As time went on, and Jason and I started trying to grow our family, I realized teaching was the perfect job for someone wanting to raise her children. I would be able to take a couple years off when we first had our babies and go back to work after they started school. Then, I would have the same breaks as them. Plus, most schools are super supportive of working moms and making sure they get to go to things like orientations and parent days and the like.

After we moved, though, I struggled to find a teaching job. God was looking out for us, though, like He always does! There happened to be a new charter school opening up that year, and I got hired! It wasn’t perfect because I got hired as a fifth grade teacher which is SO MUCH different than teaching middle school. But, it was do-able!

Or so I thought…

By January, I was exhausted! I did also have some things going on at home that contributed to this, but I decided it was time to look at the possibility of shifting to a different kind of job…a desk job.

In April, I started working for the Department of Education in my state. The pay was a bit better, and at the time it seemed like the perfect job!

Over the past couple of years I have moved from one position to another looking for just the right “fit,” but I do still wonder if I will ever go back to teaching again.

This roller coaster ride of infertility that we have been on has touched so many areas of our lives – from finances to our relationship, from career choices to dreams. But, through it all, I know that God has something beautiful planned. Through it all, my relationship with my Savior has grown. Through it all, God has strengthened my marriage. Through it all, I have learned that it’s not about my plans but about His plans. Through it all, I have learned to let go of control and cling tight to my God.



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