What Am I Afraid Of?

From the diagnoses, to the doctors, to the treatments, there are so many new terms (and acronyms) that I have learned as I travel this path…

Polycystic ovarian syndrome (or PCOS)
Reproductive Endocrinologist (or RE)
Hysterosalpingogram (or HSG)
Intrauterine insemination (or IUI)
In vitro fertilization (or IVF)
Prolactin
Human chorionic gonadotropin (or HCG)
Clomid
Metformin
Inositol

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

In an area of my life where there is so much that I don’t understand, and so much that I have absolutely no control over, it’s no wonder that I sometimes feel overwhelmed and even afraid!

But…

There are so many things that keep me grounded as well…

My God – I know that God has things under control even when I feel like I am losing it

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10 (NASB)

My husband – Jason has been there to celebrate with me through the triumphs and hold me through the tears. He has listened to me ramble when I can’t get my mind to focus on any one thing. I am so grateful that God brought him into my life.

My friends – There are a couple friends who have stood by Jason and I through the ups and the downs we have experienced over the past years. They are amazing people; I couldn’t ask for better friends! I have also met some incredible women who are walking this journey of infertility along side me. I didn’t know until I met them how encouraging it is to have someone who understands and is walking the same (or similar) path at the same time.

My dogs – Sometimes all I need is to snuggle with one of my fur-babies and the cares of the world just seem to melt away!

So, I need to ask myself…WHAT AM I AFRAID OF?

I am afraid of not becoming a mom

This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him. – 1 John 5:14-15 (NASB)

He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord! – Psalm 113:9 (NASB)

I am afraid that if God does bless me with children that I won’t be a good mom

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

I am afraid that my crazy will push my husband away

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]. – 2 Timothy 1:7 (AMP)

I am afraid of the procedures

Casting all your cares [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares about you [with deepest affection, and watches over you very carefully]. – 1 Peter 5:7 (AMP)

I am afraid of the procedures not being successful

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:34 (NASB)

Now I must make a decision…do I trust the fears or my God? Do I cast my cares on Him or do I hold on to them to feel like I have control (even though I know I don’t)?

My choice is so easy…my choice is God!

My plan is to put all these verses on my phone and scroll through them, say them out loud or to myself, and rest in knowing that God is bringing me through!

Here are a couple of the images I created for the verses. If you want to download all of them, click on the “download” link below.

Download all of the images I created for the verses referenced above.

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2 thoughts on “What Am I Afraid Of?

  1. Wonderful and encouraging to read your honesty. I can relate to the fears you expressed in this painful and difficult path of infertility. Thank you for pointing us back to a faithful and loving God!

    Liked by 1 person

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